There’s a question every estate plan should answer, but many never address: If you couldn’t speak for yourself, who would make your medical decisions, and would they know what you’d want?

This is the work of healthcare directives, and it’s separate from everything that governs your money.

A healthcare power of attorney, sometimes called a healthcare proxy, names the person you trust to make medical decisions on your behalf if you’re unable to. A living will, or advance directive, spells out your wishes about the kinds of treatment you would and wouldn’t want, particularly near the end of life. Together, they make sure your voice is heard even when you can’t speak.

I understand the importance of these documents on a deeply personal level.

In 2020 my mother was involved in a tragic car accident that left her with a catastrophic brain injury. She was later declared brain dead and remained in a coma for two weeks before our family was faced with the unimaginable decision of whether to remove life support. She was only 49 years old and, like so many people, believed she had more time. She had never documented her wishes.

Instead of knowing exactly what she would have wanted, my father, my sisters, my grandmother, her brother, cousins, and other family members found themselves in heartbreaking conversations trying to determine what Mom would have wanted us to do. In the middle of overwhelming grief, we were forced to make one of the most difficult decisions a family can ever face without the guidance of her own voice.

It’s an experience I would never wish on anyone.

Without healthcare directives, families are left to guess, often in a hospital, under immense emotional pressure, with loved ones who may genuinely disagree about what you would have wanted. That uncertainty can create lasting tension, fracture families, and lead to medical decisions that may not reflect your values at all. In some situations, it can even require the court to appoint someone to make decisions on your behalf, adding a legal burden to an already devastating time.

These documents do more than designate authority. The most effective plan is paired with honest conversations. Tell the people you’ve chosen what matters most to you. Discuss your wishes before they’re ever needed so they can make decisions with confidence instead of carrying the weight of uncertainty for the rest of their lives.

This is one area where I rely entirely on your estate planning attorney’s expertise to prepare the legal documents. My role is to help make sure they exist, stay current, and coordinate with the rest of your financial plan. Incapacity planning isn’t just about protecting your assets; it’s about protecting your family from having to make impossible decisions without knowing your wishes.

If there is one lesson my own family’s experience taught me, it’s this: don’t wait because you think you have more time. None of us knows what tomorrow holds. Taking a few hours today to put these documents in place could spare the people you love from carrying an unimaginable burden later.